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I start my new job at the Barnes and Noble two blocks from my… - A Day in the Life

Dec. 2nd, 2005

11:32 am

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I start my new job at the Barnes and Noble two blocks from my apartment tonight. I'm still down with the little-to-no work I'm doing at my other job, but I just got tired of not fondling books every day anymore, you know? It's sort of a big deal to me that I got hired, but the actual getting of the job was so anticlimactic that I didn't know how to write about it. The way the managers talked, I had some extreme competition for the position, but the gist of my interview was:

Jordan: So, I see here you're from Ohio.
Katie: That's right.
Jordan: I'm from Pennsylvania.
Katie: Oh, yeah?
Jordan: The east side, though.
Katie: Which is basically Ohio without all the Amish.
Jordan: You start Friday.

He called a woman named Chris up to the interviewing office and said, "I have an early Christmas present for you." You can imagine how objectified and delicious this made me feel. He continued, "She has an English degree," and I think it was the first time anyone's ever made me feel good about that.

I went in on Tuesday night to fill out some paperwork and get a tour of the store. I found out that the section I'll be working in includes fiction, creative nonfiction, graphic arts, and books written in other languages, so you can imagine how pumped I am to see how much stranger Emily's Book of Strange will be in Spanish. I also found out that all of the emo-looking, argyle-sweater-wearing, thick-glassesed boys work in the music section, so you can guess where I'll accidentally wander several times an hour.

Chris took me back to her office to give me my nametag at the end of tour, and when she opened the door, there was this lovely blonde man sitting in an armchair in the corner. He wore plaid wool pants with a thick cream sweater and greeted us as if he knew us. My first thought was, "That guy could be a TV star." And then I realised that he was a TV star. He was Carson Kressley from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", there to do a promo for his new children's book.

This would be a picture of Carson looking sassy if Photobucket wasn't being janky.
See what I mean about the sass?


I said, "My boyfriend totally looks like Jesus. I really need you to tell him to do something with his hair," and he said, "Done," in that very sassy way of his. So I'm pretty much in love with my new job already.

Comments:

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From:saraide
Date:December 2nd, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC)
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I am SO jealous. B&N is a great place to work, especially after you survive the Christmas rush. Plus, the discount alone (especially this time of year!) is worth it. And the oh so many books...

Mentioning the Amish must be the sneaky secret handshake for getting a job there. They came up in my interview too.
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From:anne_jumps
Date:December 2nd, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
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I skimmed that and totally read "Amish handjob."
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From:anne_jumps
Date:December 2nd, 2005 05:12 pm (UTC)
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OMG NO WAY YOU MET CARSON

I mean That's pretty cool.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 2nd, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
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You've really got the New Yorker thing down.

Pass random celebrities in the streets and think, "EEEEEE! Squealsquealsqueal!" Pretend like you don't notice and continue on quietly.
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From:smailtronic
Date:December 2nd, 2005 05:41 pm (UTC)
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Except eastern PA is full of the Amish. In fact, many more than in Ohio. Perhaps you meant to say western PA is like Ohio without all the Amish?
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 2nd, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
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But eastern PA has towns Philadelphia and Intercourse. Intercourse, Mike. The Amish aren't hanging out there.
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From:mrsvina
Date:December 2nd, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC)
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I work at Barnes and Noble! You are going to love it... and they will treat you so well! Plus, you start just in time for extra employee discount days. Hahaha. Seriously though, good luck with it, and always remember, when you bring a customer to find a book, put the book in their fucking hand, you have no idea how many times our store got taken off on secret shops for that shit.

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From:saraide
Date:December 2nd, 2005 07:42 pm (UTC)
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I miss working there most of all this time of year. I did all my shopping at work (and pretty much always spent my paycheck there).
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From:bloobirdie
Date:December 2nd, 2005 06:32 pm (UTC)
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I had just thought recently that you hadn't mentioned fondling books lately. I'm glad to see that's being remedied. I expect wonderful stories of lust, books and hott boys with lots of emo-cred shopping...

That said, I love your interaction with Carson. Simply fabulous. =)
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:25 pm (UTC)
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It's all I can do to keep myself from posting every three minutes about how pleased I am to be touching the books again.

There will be more lusting than you can shake a stick at. Whatever that means.
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From:promisingwind
Date:December 2nd, 2005 06:33 pm (UTC)
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Katie- I'm so jealous.

This is Crystal, by the way. I met you at a jump show a long time ago. I admit, I'm rather jealous that you live in NYC. Looking forward to witnessing the day when you take over stuff in that city- because, honestly, though I see you so rarely, I know you could do it.

Just saying hello.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:27 pm (UTC)
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Of course I remember you, Crystal. Not only have I seen you at a bazillion shows since then–although you're usually drinking and probably don't recall most of them–but you're also taking over the world via Opium, in case you've forgotten.

I think the city is much more likely to conquer me before I conquer it, but I'm doing my best.

And by the way, I love your icon hardcore.
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From:christophrawr
Date:December 2nd, 2005 06:35 pm (UTC)
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Hooray!
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
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I know.
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From:cntr_of_atntion
Date:December 2nd, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
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okay, i was going to post to your last journal to tell you how much i hate you, but it's a good thing i didn't since this entry has made me hate you so much more.

i do, you know. hate you. any friendliness which developed between us when we were driving around the country in the middle of the night or trying to break into michael's apartment is now completely gone.

unless you leave your boyfriend so we can get an apartment together in new york, and you get me a job at the barnes & noble.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:30 pm (UTC)
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Leigh, how many times do I have to tell you that I'd give up Todd in a second for you before you'll believe me? My love for you is true and everlasting; he's but a fleeting fancy.

Move to New York. Tomorrow. You'll have to share a bed with Todd and me for a while, but we'll be rid of him soon enough and can spoon by ourselves at last.
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From:5thguy
Date:December 2nd, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
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Shopping is my cardio--Carson Kressley is my idol. Second, after you, of course.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:31 pm (UTC)
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Next time we hang out–and I use that term very loosely to make myself appear cooler–I'll give him your number.
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From:corks1181
Date:December 3rd, 2005 12:19 am (UTC)
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Carson is the only man who can be referred to as "lovely" and have it mean a whole different kind of lovely than the "lovely" that I would use to describe Julian. Also, he is the only person on this planet who can get away with a Navaho print button-down. Endofstory.

I, too, am jealous of your job.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:34 pm (UTC)
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Who is still making Navajo-print button-downs? Honestly.
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From:lolliejean
Date:December 3rd, 2005 02:41 am (UTC)
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!!!!! I love Carson and your statement to him is just too fabulous for words.

You Rock.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:35 pm (UTC)
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Rock with a capital r? You flatter me.
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From:biw
Date:December 3rd, 2005 03:39 am (UTC)
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You should have titled this entry:
Katie is the New Fruitcake

... you know ... like, in reference to ""I have an early Christmas present for you."
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:37 pm (UTC)
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On a only minorly-related note, you don't even know how excited I am for Christmas just for the fruitcake. Not that anyone ever buys me one. How did such an innocent dessert get such a stigma?
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From:imperfectionist
Date:December 3rd, 2005 05:36 am (UTC)
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!!!!!

And what is this "secret shopper" everyone's talking about?

No, seriously.
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From:saraide
Date:December 3rd, 2005 04:08 pm (UTC)
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At b&n, a person comes in, poses as a customer and evaluates employee performance. If you don't do things exactly as you should, you lose points. If you get a perfect score, your boss might give you a cookie. It all works out in the end.
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From:4amthinker
Date:December 3rd, 2005 06:57 am (UTC)
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woah.
first off, you met carson. holy crap. if you'd met kyan, then i'd have to steal your identity.
secondly, you (and others who have commented...) got hired at barnes & noble. i'm not sure if it's the one that i applied at or what, but after 2 interviews, several phone calls from my end, my college degree (complete with english minor) and my 3 years of bookselling *and* cafe experience, they decided they didn't want me. and i'm unhappy about it. but, you know, not bitter.
congratulations, though. really.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:41 pm (UTC)
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Kyan really is the desirable one. Especially because he always talks about how fat the straight guy is.

I'll be sure to filter you out of all of the "yay! I love my job!" entries and include you only in the "B&N sucks it so hard" filter.
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From:classiccaddygrl
Date:December 3rd, 2005 07:45 am (UTC)
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That's way cool.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:42 pm (UTC)
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I think so, too.
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From:aquilinum
Date:December 3rd, 2005 04:34 pm (UTC)
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I feel old. I remember people saying, "OMG I met Carson!"... but those people meant Daly.
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 5th, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC)
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Except no one was ever really excited about meeting Carson Daly. Except in the car-accident-drive-by-and-stare way.
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From:spaghedeity
Date:December 3rd, 2005 10:46 pm (UTC)
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Whoa.

Carson Kressley is a huge celebrity down here... what with his annual appearances at the Melbourne Cup fashion shows. I have this slight inclination that he is gay.

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From:saraide
Date:December 3rd, 2005 11:42 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, it's his show's title that really gives it away, I think... ;)
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From:(Anonymous)
Date:December 7th, 2005 06:33 pm (UTC)

This might be Michael McCoskey

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I'm really jealous that you met Carson. Is that weird? Whats that mean?
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From:queenkatieett
Date:December 8th, 2005 11:58 am (UTC)

Re: This might be Michael McCoskey

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It's not weird, but I still hate that celebrity interests us so much. People like you and I are supposed to be immune to that sort of thing.

What makes meeting Carson any different than meeting anyone else on the street? Absolutely nothing. Yet I still want to tell everyone I know. And I still felt just a little bit cooler while it was happening.

What's really weird is that I was just looking at Jessica's last myspace message to me last night, thinking, "I need to reply to this." And here you are.
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